Ending Violence

Using Pence’s explanation, NCADV’s statistics, and my prior knowledge about domestic violence, I have come to realize that domestic violence can come in many shapes and sizes. The Power and Control Wheel does an especially good job of presenting the ways in which abusers can harm their victims. For example, an abuser may economically abuse their partner by maintaining complete control over finances and making their partner come to them for money. Or they may isolate their partner and prevent them from maintaining friendships and relationships outside of their own. It has also become evident to me that abusers very rarely only use one of these tactics. They may use several or even all of these strategies in order to maintain dominance over their partner.

I’d like to start off by saying I adore hooks and her radical feminist perspective. Even though I may not always agree with hooks, I appreciate how profoundly she expresses her ideas. hooks is able to bring a different and more nuanced perspective to the topics of domestic violence by including parental abuse against children. She discusses the importance of diminishing domestic violence and violence against women. However, she also provides criticism towards feminist thinkers who fail to recognize that both men and women are capable of abusing their children and this abuse is born of sexist thinking and a sense of entitlement. She makes it very clear that sexism will not end until we end ALL forms of violence and the use of violence to keep people in a subservient position.

The most recent news report of domestic violence I found was a tragic story of an instance where domestic violence was deadly and had few red flags. On March 16th, 2016, ABC News posted an article written by Lindsay Whitehurst about a domestic violence advocate who was brutally murdered by her husband, who after killing her turned the gun on himself. The couple was in their early 70s and 80s and, according to their son, appeared to have a loving and caring relationship. The article discusses that it’s important to recognize this act of violence as an instance of domestic abuse. This situation should not be interpreted as a random act of terror. Rather, it should be understood as a long-term, pint-up aggression and another horrific case of domestic violence. Especially since research has shown that, in couples over 60, domestic violence perpetrators are often suicidal and decide to take their spouse or partner with them. This is a case in which an abuser felt so entitled to their spouse’s life that they depraved them of it entirely. The Power and Control Wheel gives us many of the ways in which partners dominate their significant others, but what do you do when those red flags aren’t there?

I think hooks would say that a partner’s sense of entitlement other their spouse can be extremely dangerous. She would reiterate that domestic violence can not be eliminated until we have entirely diminished sexist thinking. I think she would also strongly agree that domestic violence can be sudden and deadly. Domestic violence comes in variety of forms. Although typically it is drawn out abuse and domination, that isn’t always the case. I think she would also express that you never truly know a relationship if you aren’t in it. It’s impossible to know now what the dynamic of the couple’s relationship was when they were alive. Although no red flags were detected by their relatives and friends, that doesn’t necessarily mean they were not there.