I believe mental health is just as important as physical health. I’ve firmly believed in that since the first time I sat beside my best friend in our middle school counselor’s office. I tried my best not to stare at the cuts that trailed up her arms. I remember she didn’t want me to make her go. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, didn’t want her parents to know. But I couldn’t forget the look in her eyes when she’d told me that she never thought she’d live past 14, just because she didn’t think she had the will to keep on. The look in her eyes told me that this admission was a painfully honest truth. The kind of thing you deny to yourself over and over until it festers and makes itself unavoidable. I didn’t understand her unwillingness to get help.

                  However throughout high school, I began to understand my best friend’s embarrassment when it came to her mental health. I had a hard time admitting to my closest friends the shame I felt about my body and my overall poor self esteem. When puberty struck, and it struck hard and fast, as it so often does, I became mortified by my appearance. I hated the strange shape of my stomach. The stretch marks on my thighs and hips signaled, to me, too much weight gain. I couldn’t bear to look at my face because it was wrought with acne. Looking back on myself now, I didn’t look as tragic as I made myself feel. But let me tell you, self-loathing can be a bitch. That was how my battle with bulimia began. My mental stability began to extremely affect my physical health. I was fatigued, my immune system weakened, the sight of food made me feel physically ill. I also didn’t want help. I didn’t want anyone to know something was wrong with me. I had heard what people said about girls with eating disorders. They were all “seeking attention,” there was nothing actually wrong with them. I didn’t know then that eating disorders are the products of a chemical imbalance in the brain. My already low-self esteem didn’t help when I began to develop a depressive disorder along with generalized and social anxiety. Most days I had no willpower to do anything at all. Getting out of bed seemed like a daunting task, rather than a daily routine. I knew I needed help, but telling my parents meant risking the possibility that they may not take me seriously. Of course, when I opened up that line of communication with my parents, they were entirely supportive. They found me a great counselor and a great psychiatrist. They’ve seen me through my recovery process every step of the way.

                  Through my own recovery process and watching my friends battle with mental illness, I’ve learned that mental health inextricably impacts physical health. Studies have shown that poor mental health makes people more susceptible to diseases such as cardiovascular disease, cancer, and diabetes. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, one in four adults experience mental illness in a given year and one in 17 live with a severe mental illness. So if we know these things about mental illness, why do we treat mental health with less severity than physical health? Sick days are acceptable, but mental health days are unnecessary. Also, if we know so many people suffer from mental illnesses, why do we treat them like deep, dark, embarrassing secrets? No one is embarrassed to be diagnosed with cancer. Therefore, no one should be made to feel embarrassed about a mental illness. The brain is the most important organ in the body. It commands all organs and functions of our bodies. So don’t try to tell me that mental illness isn’t as valid as physical illness. 

            I recently attended Ian Harvie’s stand-up comedy routine sponsored by Outspoken. Ian Harvie is the first male Transgender stand-up comedian. He made his claim to fame after landing a role in Amazon’s Transparent. In his stand up routine, Harvie opens up discussion about serious topics regarding the trans community through his lighthearted and clever sense of humor. I thoroughly enjoyed Ian’s stand up routine, not only did I laugh so hard I had stomach pains, but I also learned a lot about the transitioning process and the daily struggles that Trans people face. Not to mention, he’s a total hottie.

            I especially enjoyed his crude and inappropriate sense of humor. Some people might find it difficult to swallow or too vulgar, but I thought it was hilarious. For example, when he did the bit about his sex-life with his girlfriend and how when they knew they were going to be intimate with each other, they went out “cock shopping.” He talked about the awkwardness of having to talk to a store clerk while picking out a strap-on and the benefits of sleeping with a transgender man. Ian stated that with cis-men it’s like a grab-bag and you have to get lucky with whatever you pick, but with him, you’ll get what you want. That was one of the moments where I laughed so hard I got stomach pains. Also when he told the audience about his testosterone hormones making his clitoris enlarge to the size of a shitake mushroom. That’s a mental picture I’ll probably never be able to get rid of.

            For all trans people, the restroom is a nerve-wracking and scary place. A place where they are scared they will be found out and be persecuted for being trans. However, somehow Ian was able to make even this topic humorous. By discussing the disgusting contrast of the women’s restroom to the men’s restroom and deeming women “pee ninjas,” Ian was able to make the bathroom feel a little less threatening for just a moment. Even though the discussion was lighthearted, it still brought to light how dangerous it is to be trans in our society. Ian was able to raise awareness of trans struggles with bathrooms through humor.

            The other presentation I attended most recently was Guante’s spoken word performance and roundtable discussion. Although I enjoyed Guante’s performance and the topics he discussed are very important, he lacked a certain personable and humble quality that Ian possessed. Guante is a very knowledgeable social justice advocate and it seemed as though he took himself too seriously. Ian was very relatable and easy to talk, while also being very educated on social justice issues. Therefore, I preferred Ian’s presentation to Guante’s. Both performance’s were spectacular, but Ian’s quirky and easygoing attitude made his presentation more enjoyable for me.

            I think Ian’s performance is very important for others to see. The backlash and transphobia trans people face on a daily basis primarily stems from a lack of knowledge regarding what being transgendered means. I believe that backlash could be greatly diminished if people were educated on trans issues and the fundamentals of transgenderism. I also believe Ian’s stand-up could play an integral role in diminishing ignorance surrounding trans people. The way Ian presents the transgender experience is extremely comical and straight-forward. Two approaches that very seriously helps to demystify the topic of transgenderism. His routine is both educational and enjoyable. I think everyone could benefit from seeing him live.

“I hope Mom thinks I’m cool.”

                  This Six Word Memoir assignment was fairly difficult for me. I know we weren’t supposed to think of the brevity of our memoir as a restriction. However, as a person who’s a fan of descriptive language, I found that pretty challenging. This assignment required me to really think about how I view myself and what is important to me. I’ve always known I’m a person who is fairly unsure of herself, although I try my best to hide it. My insecurity makes me more susceptible to seek approval from others. So then I thought, ‘At the end of the day, who do you want the approval of the most? Whose opinion do you value over your own?” That answer seemed obvious to me – my mother. My mom exhibits unconditional love towards my family and I admire her inherently gracious and kind nature. Ultimately, I just want my mom to be proud of me and think I’m the coolest. My mom also constantly reminds me that you learn new things everyday. I’ve always enjoyed sharing with my mom the new information I learn in my classes and talking to her about topics that interest me. I know she values those conversations just as much as I do. On top of my deep-seated desire for my mother’s approval, I’ve always been 100% certain that I want to be a mother. I’m really excited to be in awe of a little person I’m responsible for creating one day.

                  After reading my memoir, people might wonder what kind of relationship I have with my mother. They may question whether or not our relationship is healthy and fulfilling or distant and negligent. Is my mother someone who has always been in my life? They also might wonder whether or not my actions make my mom proud. They may also ask why I don’t want my dad to think I’m cool. To that I’d say, I do hope my dad thinks I’m cool and I hope I make my dad proud. I love my dad! I’m just a bit of a momma’s girl.

                  Finding a way to include my mom in this memoir is most important to me. My mother shaped me into the woman I am today. I know a lot of my identity and who I am is thanks to my mother’s strong character. I’m fortunate to have such a wonderful role model. I highly value my mom and our relationship; all I want to do is make her proud.