Journal #12: Pen on Fire

My earliest musical memory was my mother singing to me. Everyone knows that sweet, little song “You Are My Sunshine.” This was my mother’s song for me. This was the first song I ever learned. The first song I have any memory of humming. The first song I ever remember having stuck in my head.

It was a reminder that no matter what I was doing, I had someone who thought I was the center of their universe. My mom has always exhibited unconditional love towards me. You Are My Sunshine reinforces that my mother’s love is undying.

Even now when I’m faced with difficulties in any relationship I have, I remember that, to my mother, I am her sunshine.

Everyone likes to feel important. Everyone likes to feel needed. I’m no exception to that fact. When I feel unloved and unnecessary, I simply let my mother’s song drift back to me.

My mother’s singing drifts back to me when I start to feel unworthy of love.

My mother’s singing drifts back to me when I’m heartbroken.

My mother’s singing drifts back to me when I’m all alone.

My mother’s singing drifts back to me when I’m scared of failing.

My mother’s singing drifts back to me when I feel abandoned.

My mother’s singing drifts back to me when I feel I can do no right.

My mother’s voice singing, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” reminds me that even I feel like others don’t care about me, my mother will always care for me and love me. She needs no other reason than the fact that I’m her own flesh and blood. I have nothing to prove to her. Nothing I have to do to gain her love. I already have it.